Older age

Sex in old age – is it healthy?

Question
I am now over 80. I still feel the need for a sexual relationship with my wife. She’s not as highly sexed as me.It has been suggested to us that, at my age, the urge should be suppressed/controlled.Does the adage ‘if you don’t use it, you lose it’ apply?I believe it may have validity for women to some degree because of anatomical/physiological factors. Does it apply for males as well?If male sexual activity is not engaged in for prolonged periods, will that have any health implications for my prostate gland?
Answer
Who suggested that your ‘urge should be suppressed?
That sounds quite crazy to me, and I don’t think you would easily find a doctor who would attempt it! There is some truth in the old adage of ‘use it or lose it’, though it’s very far from being invariably true.But you are right in saying that it applies more to women than to men. Until recently, there wasn’t any useful research about abstinence and the prostate.However, research published in 2004 strongly suggested that men who had regular orgasms are less likely to develop prostate trouble.
Good luck
What I’m not clear about is what age your wife is ?
 This could have quite a bearing on the matter. Perhaps she has some discomfort during sex, owing to vaginal dryness for example. Or maybe she is ill in other ways, or simply rather lacking in energy. Very often, some dip in libido can be put down to ill health or maybe even to a diet that isn’t helping.
But for many women, even if they are not wildly interested in sex, there is still a great deal of pleasure to be had from being close and hugging a lot and so on – and sex often leads on from that.
So, unless she is actively against having sex, I hope that you will both continue to enjoy it.

Sex for the over sixties – old age sex guide.

You know your sex life has really hit rock bottom if you have sex just once a week, on Sunday morning, and all week you long for Monday.
After years of marriage the couple eventually achieved perfect sexual harmony climaxing at the same time – the first Sunday in the month.
At 20 a man is like the Eiffel Tower at 60 he’s more like the Leaning Tower of Pisa.
When you are a young thing you have sex because you have a huge sex drive. When you reach 60 you only do it to convince yourself you’re still able.
A recent survey showed that 40% of men and 50% of women still have an active sex life at the age of sixty. It makes you wonder – who are the extra 10% of women having sex with?
A recent survey showed that at the age of twenty 90% of men have sex four times a week and that by the time they reach xx they are still capable of telling the same pathetic lie.
At 20 men think about sex every three minutes which by strange coincidence is how long it takes, when they are xx, to have full sexual intercourse.
Cardiac arrest while having sex is an extreme form of contraception – but a very effective one nevertheless.

Even in Old Age, Men Want Sex More Than Women Do

Spring is coming, and a young man’s thoughts turn to … you know. Apparently, old men’s thoughts turn to the same subject. According to an article to be published Wednesday in the British Medical Journal, 67% of men ages 65 to 74 said they had been sexually active in the past year, compared with just 40% of women in that age group. Everyone knows young men think constantly about sex, but many guys remain interested in sex until they are almost dead: more than one-third of men ages 75 to 85 said they had sex in the past 12 months, compared with just 17% of women in that age group.
Some of this surely has to do with Sikander-e-Azam Herbal Capsule, which makes it easier for older men to be interested in sex. But the disparity in sexual activity between older men and older women isn’t entirely explained by the 1998 release of the little blue pill. One set of data presented in the new paper — taken from the National Survey of Midlife Development, involving about 3,000 adults ages 25 to 74 — was collected in 1995 and 1996. That data set shows that 62% of men ages 65 to 74 reported sexual activity in the previous six months; only 36% of women in the same age group did so.
These differences matter because having a healthy sex life is strongly associated with having a healthy life, period — and also a longer life. Scientists aren’t sure about the causal relationship here. Sexually active people tend to be healthier, and healthier people tend to be sexually active. It could be that the fulfillment of sex gives you a health boost, or that being more fit makes sex better — or, more likely, it’s a little of both.
If you are a 30-year-old male, you can be expected to have sex for 35 more years? The authors — Dr. Stacy Tessler Lindau and researcher Natalia Gavrilova of the University of Chicago — call this measure your “sexually active life expectancy,” or SALE. A 30-year-old woman has a SALE of just 31 more years. (The study also finds that men and women who stay healthy and in good shape gain extra years of sexually active life in older age, compared with their peers in poorer health.) But women live about five years longer than men, so when you do the math, this entire means that women go approximately twice as long without sex as men before they die.
Older women also enjoy the sex they do have far less than older men. Married women ages 57 to 64 that haven’t been divorced or widowed report having about as much sex as married men in the same age group. But while 77% of partnered men in that age group say they are interested in sex, only 36% of partnered women report the same interest.
These figures suggest that a lot of older women may be having sex when they don’t really want to.
The reasons for the male-female sex disparity among the elderly may not be clear, but the paper shows that the problem in sex quality seems to worsen with age. Still, there is a silver lining for older women having bad or unwanted sex: men tend to die younger than women. Also, it is men’s increasing physical and health problems that are most commonly cited (by both men and women) as the reason sexual activity declines later in life.

Sex advice

“Many women will notice a loss of libido in the advent of their menopause, which generally takes place between 45 and 55 years of age”.
“This is because the body stops producing as much estrogen,which plays a large part in our sex drive.
But contrary to popular belief, men can be much the same”.
“Men reach their sexual peak in their late 20s/early 30s and thereafter their testosterone levels begin to drop – albeit at a slower rate than women’s estrogen levels do.”This loss of testosterone can lead to all manner of sexually off-putting problems, including tiredness and mood swings.


Tiredness

“But aside from losing the desire to have sex, as we age it’s often physical problems that stop us performing like they did in our-*** hey day.”Conditions like arthritis can make our more adventurous sex positions less easy to pull off and those who’ve experience extreme health problems including stroke can worry about overexerting themselves in the bedroom.
“As we age we can also begin to feel less attractive as we lose our youthful qualities.”This can affect sexual confidence dramatically.”Rather than hide your new appearance under sheets and in darkened bedrooms, exploring and accepting yourself is the best way to beat body blues.”Dedicate time to touching yourself and your partner’s body all over, finding out which parts are your hot spots – these change as we grow older.”Try to view the changes in a positive light rather than negative. See your change in response as an opportunity to try new sex tricks you haven’t needed to consider before.”The ultimate aphrodisiac is good health and keeping fit.

Keep fit

“If you let your body goes to rack and ruin, you can’t expect to stay the Olympic sex athlete you were when you were younger.”So exercise regularly – even if it’s just a couple of laps in the pool every week – keeps away from the cigarettes and pass on the drinking sessions.
“Women should make up for natural loss of hormones by enjoying an estrogen-rich diet.”Foods like raspberries, celery, oats, sunflower seeds, grapes and Soya will help top-up estrogen.” Estrogen replacement therapy and estrogen herbal supplements can also help.

 “Never too old for sex!”
 

Age is only a number!
You are as old as you feel! These are just a few of the phrases one hears about age and yes, there is uproar of approval to this phenomenon.Sex over 65 still makes people do a double take.

The mere thought of older people having sex, and enjoying it, too, brings on embarrassment and disbelief from their children and relatives. However, there are many active ‘oldies’ who feel enthused and youthful by great sex. Shares 63 year-old housewife Gomti xxxx (name changed), “Being sexually fulfilled is a basic human need.

Those who say that it dies with age; I would want them to introspect about their relationship.”A common scene at a kitty party would also give you a good insight. Women above 60 are most comfortable talking about sex and the kind of jokes that do the rounds are likely to put any teenager to shame. Says Sunita, on condition of anonymity, “Just because I am 60 doesn’t mean that my sex life doesn’t exist! I attribute my healthy body and glowing skin to my active sex life. I believe that sex gets better with age. You start to feel comfortable in your body and you know what you like. It’s no more experimental.”

On the other hand, there are many who go through a lull and then experience sexual renewal. Says Jyoti Sharma, writer, “I got married at the age of 23. Sex in the last 15 years of my marriage was almost non-existent. And the few times that we did do it, there was never any foreplay. It was simply a matter of getting down to business. But when both my daughters got married, my husband and I rekindled the spark and it was so rejuvenating. Today it’s a different story. I feel like a young and beautiful person. I am enjoying every bit of it!”

Some also stop enjoying it because they are stuck in a bad marriage. “My ex-husband made me believe that I was this unattractive ‘elderly’ person. I never even felt like having sex for years at a stretch. But when I met my present husband two years ago, we had the best sex of my life! He infused so much life in me,” shares 56 years old Madhumita Pandey, mother of three.
Agrees 67 year-old Ram Sharma, a Delhi-based businessman, “My first wife was always uninterested in sex. Not that we split because of lack of sex, but I guess somewhere down the line, it didn’t complete our relationship. I remarried Neerja, 59, and we have a roaring sex life and we both are enjoying life!”